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Let It Go!! Traditions Can Be Torture!

By December 6, 2016 Encouragement, General, Mom Life

Traditions can sometimes become more like torture than fun.

Do you have family traditions that you do every year around the holidays?

Do you feel like you have to do the normal traditions or you are messing up the entire holiday?
I mean you have to bake those specific cookies.
Go to the same get togethers at the same place.
Read the same stories.
Go to the mountains to get your Christmas tree and get it cut down from the same tree lot.
Make gingerbread houses and stress over the kids not doing it perfect.
Go to the same place to see the Christmas lights.
Visit the same Santa each year for your annual picture that never turns out very good.
Struggle to get a good picture while fussing with your kids because they hate it.
Send out Christmas cards with those wonderful memory filled pics on them.
Make a special treat for everyone to hand out at the family get togethers.
Write the perfect letter about your perfect family.
And of course you have to read the same Christmas story book and put out the same treats for Santa on Christmas Eve. I mean if you don’t do all of these things then it just isn’t Christmas, right?? Wrong!

Why do you have to do all of these things?

Does the happiness of your family depend on it?

Does anyone truly enjoy it?

Is it creating great family memories?

Most likely the answer to most of these questions is, No!

Choose Joy and Calm Over Traditions That Cause Torture

This year instead of keeping up with all of your traditions that cause torture to your loved ones lets choose Joy and Calm. Let it GO!!!

Re-evaluate your traditions. Find the ones that your family wants to do. The ones they actually enjoy!

Have a family meeting- Get your family together and ask them their honest opinion. (And really listen while being open.) Ask them what they like to do and what they don’t. (Don’t get your feelings hurt here.)

What to ask- 
What traditions do you really like and look forward to?
What traditions do you really not like? (Be Honest!)
What makes you happy during this Christmas season?
What makes Christmas not fun for you?
Is there a new tradition you would like to start?

Write these things down and study them. Re-evaluate what you are doing and what the family wants to do. Make changes and let it go!

Release the control and embrace the freedom. I promise that if you skip a tradition it will not ruin the Christmas season and life will go on.

Maybe you have fond memories that you did with your family. Really think about them. You may find out that you didn’t do them every year :0! It may be something you did a few times and it just stuck with you. Maybe because you enjoyed it and wasn’t pressured to do it :0! Oh my!

Let it go! It will be OK!

What God Says

Mark 7:8 

“You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men.”

 

 

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Let It Go! Be Calm Not Stressed

By December 2, 2016 Encouragement, General, Mom Life
Let It Go! Be Calm Not Stressed

Are you the one that has to be in charge?

Do you want to go from stressed to calm?

Can you relate to having to be in control of everything?

Decorations?
Schedules?
Food?
Gifts?
Poses for the pictures?

LET IT GO! LET IT GO! LET IT GO!

 

I like to have a plan and I want that plan to go as planned each and every step of the way.

I like everything to have a place and be in it’s place.

In years past I have always wanted to make sure the decorations were just right. The tree lights hung just right and the ornaments in their places. Everything on the mantle needed to be symmetrical. Outside lights needed to be in place and cords hidden just where I thought they should go.

Letting my children or husband do it the way they wanted was so out of my comfort zone.

I am the MOM and I am supposed to be responsible for these things, right?

LET IT GO! LET IT GO! LET IT GO!!

This year I decided to just let it go.

We chose a tree pretty quick when normally I have to walk all over the hills looking for the perfect tree. Dragging all of my family behind me. This year it was actually fun. I didn’t tell the kids no. I didn’t walk around every tree finding something wrong with it. It was the easiest, fastest, and most pleasant tree picking experience we have had.

We put the lights on and they were not perfect. The next day when half the lights on the tree went out I didn’t even get upset I just said, ” Oh well, we will go buy some more and add them to the tree.” It may be odd but it worked and it was not stressful.

We decorated the tree with our cheaper ornaments. The ornaments are pretty much stuck in the tree near the bottom. Some are hanging, some are not. Some are clustered together. Some are even on the floor under the tree. The littles are redecorating the tree everyday. I’m not stressing over it. I just let it go! I decided that I would not even put out the nice ornaments this year. It is just not worth the stress of having to keep them away from the little hands. Worrying about them getting broken or having to tell the littles to leave them alone. I chose to be joyful and not stressful.

The outside lights are getting put up this weekend I believe and I am not even stressed about the fact that we have two wreaths hung on the bottom front two windows and the others are still in the garage. Normally this would really bug me and the fact that they are not up yet would normally drive me crazy. But guess what. I’m not stressing over it. We had rain on the day I was going to go on the roof to put out the wreaths and lights and I am just thankful for the rain. The lights will get up when we get to them. Is it really worth stressing over? Nope! Ahh I feel the calm.

We have presents in the office that need to be wrapped and I plan on doing that soon lol. But stressing over the presents that are not wrapped and the fact that the tree has no presents under it is not worth it. Letting the littles play around the tree and under the tree and just playing and watching them have fun is more important. Calm not stress.

I am enjoying the moment and letting my children help do things.

Being Calm and Not Stressed

There is just something about learning to loosen up and not being in control. There is a sense of calmness that takes over you. The stress is gone.

To not be bossy.

To not be on edge.

To not use sharp words.

To not be rolling eyes.

To not being harsh.

To not crush spirits.

To not shoot down hopes or ideas.

To not be stressed.

To not be overwhelmed.

It is way less work and stress by letting go and not having to be in control.

How can you Let It Go?

If you want to join me this season then jump right in. Back off on making all the decisions. Let your family decide what they may want to do, even if it is very different from the norm. Ask their opinions on things and let them feel involved.

What Does God Say

Phillipians 2:3-5

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.”

 

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When You Don’t Feel A Part Of The Group!

By November 18, 2016 Encouragement, General, Mom Life
When You Don't Feel A Part Of The Group!

If you are anything like me then you know exactly how it feels to be left out and not part of the group.

There have been many times in my life that I have felt lonely. I have felt like I was just not in the “clique”.

I have shed many tears wondering, “why?”.

Many times I would feel part of the group only to be left out of something.

I was a high school cheerleader, so you would think I was part of the “in girls” right? No!

I was friends with them and we had fun but I was not always invited to the sleepovers, the parties, or the shopping trips. It hurt!

I had close friends that I love dearly even to this day, but we have been pulled apart in different directions through the years. Marriages, babies, jobs, and just life in general have made getting together not so easy. Being in different stages of life made it awkward to hang out. Sometimes it was just easier to not get together.

Of course that is not what always happened or how I always felt.  I remember crying when I thought I had a new friend that was going to be my new best friend only to find out that she was out doing something with other girls and didn’t invite me. I would ask myself.

“Are they cooler?”
“Are they more fun?”
“Am I weird? ”
“What is wrong with me? ”
“Did I make her mad?”
All these things would go through my head and to be honest it only made me feel worse. Why was I left out of the group?

I now see my teenage girls going through the same things. Friendships are hard! With all the social media these days it can sting even worse than when I was young. Girls texting each other in group messages and leaving one out and then talking about the message in front of the one left out. Instagram pics of parties, shopping trips, or sleepovers. Selfies or WEfies  that leave someone out. Or maybe you were all together somewhere taking pics and then you see all the pics posted except the ones you were in :(.  If you were asked to  take the pic of someone and their friends only to not even get photo credits.  And well snapchat is just a work of the devil I believe, but posting all the fun and videos that are going on at the moment and the one not invited gets to see all the fun but not be a part of it. That hurts! Social media just amplifies the hurt of being left out of the group.

I know as a teenager I would try my best to fit into the group. I have seen girls now on social media do things they normally wouldn’t do just to be a part of the clique so they didn’t feel left out. You have to cut your hair a certain way, wear a certain makeup, and wear the exact clothes, shoes, and carry the purses that the “in girls” do only to find out that well that didn’t work either. You still did not feel part of the group.

Thankfully, one day in high school I found God. I had cried for God to help me. For God to guide me. Then I figured it out. God told me, Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about discovering who God created You to be.

In 1 Peter 3:4  the Bible says, “Your beauty should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of the great worth in God’s sight. 

I struggled for a long time before I realized that I didn’t have to belong or fit into the group. God doesn’t want you to try to change who you are to fit in. He made you just how he wants you. If you don’t fit into this clique, group, or circle of the “in girls”, that is because that is not where God wants you. He had designed you to be a part of another group. He may have work he wants you to do within another group of girls or women. He will use you where he puts you. If you try to push or change to be part of a group that God doesn’t have you planned to be a part of then you will always feel left out. It has to be in God’s design. He has designed you just like he wants you. You are not weird and nothing is wrong with you. You are just who God created you to be. Be open to where God wants you. He will bring the people in your life right when you need them. They will stand by you in good times and bad, not just the fun times. They will be the friends that let you cry on their shoulders during a break up, stand beside you at your wedding and wear the ugly dress, tell you your pretty when you are 9 months pregnant, help you when your baby won’t sleep, be there when a loved one is sick, and celebrate with you when your children do wonderful things like when they take their first steps, learn to go potty, and accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. They will be there no matter what.

Not everyone will feel this in their life. Some girls and women fit in no matter what. If you happen to be one of those girls then try to be compassionate and understand how the others feel. When you are posting on social media think about who you could be hurting with your simple but thoughtless post. What doesn’t mean anything to you could be devastating to someone else. If you know someone is hurting by what you have done then try to go out of your way to show love to that person. They may not fit into your “group”, but that doesn’t mean that you have to be hurtful or rub it in their face that they “don’t fit”!

1 John 4:19
“We love because he first loved us.”

John 15:12-13
12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

John 3:16
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting Life.”

 

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